Today’s the day. The day I came into the world 36 years ago. When I woke up this morning, the day of my birth, Buffy the Vampire Slayer had done the thing I dreaded she would do. She had dropped a demonic poop on our hardwood floor. Not the way one wants to start their special day. I blame Husband entirely. He claims he let her out, but he did not go out into the yard with her, which I told him to do. As a result I believe Buffy did not have time to relax herself and poop. He rushed her back in and went upstairs and that is when she dropped a super poop on the floor. It is also possible she hates us for leaving her alone and uh, shutting the door to our bedroom on her yesterday. It was just for a little while, but she may have been mightily offended and possibly worried about mommy’s safety. But we won’t know unless she does it again I suppose. Dog ownership is some shit people, LITERALLY. So that was how the day started off, pity because we had a lovely evening the night before.
Husband wanted to take me out last night(Sunday) since he has an early morning on Tuesday and he knows that mama likes to get deep in her cups on her birthday. And what a lovely kick off to Birthday Month. He had a Groupon to this place called The Golden Moon Speakeasy.
We didn’t enter through the front which would have given us a more authentic speakeasy experience, but we parked at the hardware store and entered through the patio.
Our Groupon included drinks and caviar. The Golden Moon distills all its own booze and although no one did the Charleston I would have liked to and one more drink with absinthe and I may have busted out some old timey moves. We followed our 1920’s drinks and fancy meats with some grub at Woody’s, which is not as sexy as it sounds but it was open and we needed something more substantial than giant capers and various smoked meats(although delicious it didn’t exactly soak up our Prohibition style drinks). Pulled pork sandwich for Husband, chicken wings and a Bacon Bloody Mary for the birthday girl. Golden may be a bit far for a regular night out but it’s a very delightful little town for a special date and the Golden Moon Speakeasy is definitely worth the trip. Don’t drink and drive. Get a Lyft or Uber or a sober/pregnant friend to drive if you want to get saucy. If you don’t have any of those things you can do what we did, which was drank up, ate dinner after then proceeded home. Where we slept like babies. If babies keep waking up and drinking water and saying, I’m SO THIRSTY. Which I guess they kind of do.
Some people reading this may remember last year’s birthday celebration in San Francisco. It involved a private karaoke room, lots of booze, and me grabbing the phone to order drinks,but instead of ordering I would just scream into it, “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY BITCHES.” The next day after the party involved a serious amount of vomiting, all on my part. So this year I aimed to not have that happen and I felt wildly successful this morning because although I saw shit on the floor, it wasn’t mine. And that is something to celebrate.