It’s like this yo, I’m lactose intolerant, I like eating a plant based diet although chicken wings and bacon have led me astray more than a time or two. I have a real thing for vegan food because of my aversion to lactose. Especially desserts. Dessert is something I generally forgo because of dairy. Despite Denver having a reputation as a meat and potatoes sort of place there are veg/vegan options. And since I have been away there are even more. Yesterday I was thinking, man, I want me some Sweet Action, a dynamite ice cream shop in SoBo. That’s South Broadway for suckas like my husband, “SoBo? I never heard it called that.” Pfft. Rube.
I called up Super Homie to see if she was down for some Action and a stranger answered her phone, a stranger with a raspy voice. The stranger gasped, “I lost my voice, text me.” Let me tell you something about my Super Homie, she likes to party. And she likes to run, which for me is fucking weird. But I respect people. Just because someone wants to run a half marathon in the mountains I don’t dismiss them immediately as an asshole. That comes later, usually after a 2 minute conversation in a bar, sometimes my bro-dar doesn’t go off until it’s too late and I am stuck talking to some bro about NOTHING. Although since being mawwied I no longer have to pick up dudes in bars, so there goes another check in the pro column of married life.
Despite having no voice Super Homie agreed to ice cream and informed me via text, that I could do all the talking. Like that’s new. Buffy the Vampire Slayer also wanted to take a road trip to SoBo so we headed over in the car. Buffy is pretty good in the car, although we have to work on the exit, which involves her jumping onto my lap when I take the keys out and crying. Then flinging herself out of the car when I open the door nearly choking her little super self to death. Reminds me of this- I’m all nooooo! She’s all, I HAVE TO DO THIS.
After I parked the car I realized that I forgot to put money in the meter so Buffy and I scurried back while Super Homie was ordering her vegan ice cream(she’s no vegan but figured dairy would be bad for her throat, I didn’t have the heart to tell her the sugar is no good for a sore throat either, but I ain’t a medical doctor). A pleasant surprise awaited us when we got to the meter. It was not the 21 minutes already on the meter, it was that when I put a dime in IT GAVE ME A HALF AN HOUR. In Oakland a dime only buys you like 3 minutes. So with pep in my step I headed back to the ice cream shop. Sweet Action offers many many tasty flavors, but as a lactard, I only go for the vegan flavors, and occasionally the sorbet. Yesterday’s offerings were Vegan Oreo Cookie and Vegan Peanut Butter & Jelly. MMMMHMMMM MMM! Says me. Now imagine a quiet rasping gasping noise, like something dying but eating something delicious. That’s what Super Homie said. After a long monlogue about how much I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer and how worried about her pooping in the house (Super Homie nodded a lot) we hit up Nooch which is a small vegan grocery store.
Where I purchased what turned out to be an AMAZING vegan cranberry brie cheese. Seriously. mmmmmmmmmmm. Husband found it to be utterly delectable. And I felt like I had yet another celebratory day where I treated myself like the queen I am. High five!