Weekend Update Complete with New Restaurant Review

My lil’ Slayer just wants to rest on the patio.

Buffy wants to slay that bird.

Chill out while our green cleaning ladies scrub down the crib and Mommy writes in her blog. But can she rest? No. Because this asshole bird

Asshole Bird

keeps dive bombing Buffy and her ugly ass babies keep staring at me. I hate birds, seriously. But I digress.

I know dear four readers, that you are dying to know what we got into last  weekend and I am more than happy to tell you. First Fridays are a thing here in Denver and one of the coolest free events you can go to. There are various corridors around the city but my favorite(and if you ever go, it will be your favorite too) is the Santa Fe Art walk. You walk, you visit galleries, you drinkwine, you listen to music,  you see some weird ass art.

Perfect for any child’s room.

Dino-mite.

 

Not Really a Head Scratcher. Methinks Husband had an itch.

My new friend, let’s call her D.C. (in honor of her home town) was pleased to learn of this event since she’s a recent transplant and a straight up Denver hater, hence our new friendship. D.C. was a major inspiration for this blog, she is looking to make friends and have a good time and I remember when I first moved to Denver, I couldn’t have hated it more. I thought it was so boring, I hated the way people were always looking at me in the face, and asking me my race as a conversation opener. SO RUDE btw. Seriously, if you think asking people what their “ethnic background is” or “nationality” is a cool thing to ask-  THINK AGAIN WHITIES. Yes I am talking to you white people, it annoys the shit out of people of color.  So stop doing it. It’s none of your business and has nothing to do with anything unless you want to tell some racist jokes and you are not sure if the person is part something. But if you want to tell racist jokes you should probably be a professional stand up comedian then you don’t have to worry. Then it’s funny. Rant concluded. FOR NOW.

Prior to the Art Walk Husband I wanted to check out a new Jamaican restaurant we had heard from Super Homie(who was one of my bridesmaids at my big fat Jamaican beach wedding) had opened up in Denver.  Jamaica Grill. Now, in NY if you want some bomb ass Jamaican food, you can easily find it, as their are more Jamaicans in NY(and Canada and Great Britain) than in Jamaica, but when you head west all you get is a hot mess. I have eaten at the dreadful 8 Rivers which thanks be to Jah is closed. Husband is half Jamaican and has always said, Denver needs a good Jamaican restaurant. It has arrived! Jamaica Grill is proper.  Beef patties? TASTY. Jerk Chicken?

Jerk Chicken

Moist and delicious and smoky and spicy. Oxtail Stew? Falling off the bone seasoned just right and served on a decent bed of rice & peas and with some sweet sweet plantains.

Oxtail Stew

The rice&peas are never right outside of Jamaica, I don’t know why. Kingston 11 in Oakland CA was a delicious Jamaican joint that opened right before our exodus but their rice & peas were bunk. Curried goat was on point tho. Anyway, Jamaica Grill is legitimately delicious and if you live in Denver PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY. We want this restaurant to stay open. In fact, I’m going there for lunch today. Hoping they have the the goat!

We had SUCH a nice little party at the crib on Saturday and Buffy the Vampire Slayer proved that she knows how to party with other people no problem. She’s a social animal, didn’t growl at anyone, sniffed the new baby that was in attendance, and only escaped once before the festivities giving us another heart attack. Once again her escape was thwarted by running to the first available tree and pissing on it. So Husband was able to catch her easily. We really need to put a gate on our front porch.

I was out on patrol with the the Slayer yesterday and one of our neighbors was on the porch with his little terrier and I said, hey where did you get that gate? Did it come with the house? He says, “I made it.” I was like, DAMN. That’s a handy husband. Not to say that my husband isn’t handy…but that’s not the first word I would use to describe him. But to be fair, all of my opinions about his handiness relate back to his stupid obsession with 3M hooks that he thinks can hold heavy stuff. WHICH THEY CAN’T. We have several smashed paintings to prove it.  So to wrap up, birds suck, art is beautiful, Jamaica Grill is great, birthday party was a success, and Husband doesn’t learn from mistakes.