I Like “Dear Future Husband” So What?



Ugh the Interwebs got all mad at Meghan Trainor for her new 50’s style song complete with 50’s style lyrics “Dear Future Husband”

Prompting Alexandra Petri at The Washington Post to “fix” the lyrics.

“Take me on a date
or allow me to take you on a date
or mutually let us agree upon an activity we can both enjoy
and we can arrange to split the bill in a way that places no undue burden on either person’s earning capacity”

Which is funny and witty commentary on sexists tropes or whatever- but…I like that song. It’s cute. With all of the atrocities committed against women on a day to day basis, us feminists(yes I’m a feminist duh) we’re gonna get all mad cuz some singer wants elements of a traditional relationship? You know what? This bitch right here- enjoys a lot of the things Trainor is bee bopping about in “Dear Future Husband”.

I love grocery shopping and buying whatever we need for the house. I like shopping.  So what bitches, so what?

I truly enjoy preparing meals for my husband and having his dinner ready for him when my schedule(or mood) allows for that. If it doesn’t, he takes me out. And he pays. SO WHAT? He makes way more money than I do.

He can’t tell me enough that I’m beautiful, especially now that I’m pregnant and cry all day about my weird face, pimples, extreme body hair and ever increasing weight.  Yeah, I’m smart and funny but I KNOW THAT. I feel really ugly right now and it’s so nice to get compliments even though I respond with, “No I’m not, I’m hideous. ” It’s still lovely to know he cares enough about my needs to say it.

I love when he brings home flowers and presents. I like gifts. SO WHAT?

I think it’s great that he opens all doors not just for me, but for little old ladies and really anyone who needs a door opened. Husband is very polite. SO WHAT?

And you know what?  I do act “crazy” once in awhile.  I realize how problematic that statement is but…I get crazy sometimes. I gots hormones, I be gettin’ emotional- SO WHAT? And Husband is soooooo nice to me. Plus he gets crazy sometimes too especially since I’m having a baby and he’s acting like he’s having the baby but whatever

He apologizes after arguments! I do too- sometimes, but while I’m not always right, I’m never wrong. SO WHAT?

I like keeping our house in relative order, cooking and cleaning  arranging for the maids to come. I know you’re thinking, what a Privileged Bitch but see, I don’t like cleaning and that’s my right so I take my meager earnings from the library and pay other people to clean my house. SO WHAT?

Meghan, you go right on expressing what you want in your future marriage, I have all of it and I LIKES IT. And some boys do like to cuddle a big booty at night. That’s a fact not, Trainor basing her “self-worth on male acceptance”.-mic.com

Rant over. I have to walk the dog even though she pooped in our bedroom today- the little shit. Later Bitches.

buffy pooped


One thought on “I Like “Dear Future Husband” So What?

  1. My Mom always hired someone to help at the house. She also ended up making more money than my Dad. Enjoy, already!

    Liz E

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