Yeah yeah I know, ain’t been posting shit on here in a long minute- cuz I was pregnant and mommy blogging over at mom.me and not really having any fun or going out drinking. Plus, we also moved which was hellish as I was 9 months pregnant during the move. In fact, methinks the stress made my lil’ baby come a week early. He’s here!
And he’s perfect! Except… having a baby is really hard. He’s tiny, so tiny that he didn’t gain back his birth weight and I’m on a rigorous triple feeding regiment where I feed him for 5-10 minutes on the titty, then pump milk(ew it is so weird and I hate doing it, imagine your nipple as an anteater) then wake him up and feed him the pumped milk. This takes an hour. Then I do it all over again so I get one hour break between feedings. And it’s horrible, I’m exhausted. And I feel like a shit mom because I’m not feeding my baby enough. Oh and p.s. breastfeeding hurts like a mofo, they told us in our breastfeeding class that it doesn’t hurt if you’re doing it right. But as a public service I would like to say it DOES hurt even if your baby is latching correctly. It kills till your nips toughen up and build up calluses which takes a few weeks. In the meantime AGONY. I dread feeding him. I’m sure I’ll be feeling better in a few weeks and be able to craft some clever posts for mom.me about the trials and tribulations of new motherhood but here, where I know only a handful of folks mostly related to me will read this-it’s so hard. We’re so tired. I don’t even know what the fuck is going on most days, I’m just feeding and pumping and crying and changing diapers and getting peed on and they say newborn poop don’t stank-but our lil’ Poopenstein’s stinks! Oh and I’m also recovering from having my guts sliced open since I had a c-section. Husband and I now resemble zombies. We are the Walking Dead. I’m waiting for the good feelings to come, the love and the bonding and the joy! Well, reflection time is over. Time to feed the Poopenstein.